Define "chronic" masturbator.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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