Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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