I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
