I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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