none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
