at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
