Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
