And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
