there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
