i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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