My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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