On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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