just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
