shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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