I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize