When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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