Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
