who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
