Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize