Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
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Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
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Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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