I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
