So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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