Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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