i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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