He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
