cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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