Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
