I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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