does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
