I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
