its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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