ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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