My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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