i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
