I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
