Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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