He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
