This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
