i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
