I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize