She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize