i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
