in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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