Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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