worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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