PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
