I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
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I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
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Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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