You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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