shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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