Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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