before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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