come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
