...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
