After last night, I could never be a politician.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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