She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
