I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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