I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
