You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
