A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize