"it" just moved
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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