just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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