i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Randomize
