btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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