Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Can I color on your dick again?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
