I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel like death gave me a hand job
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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