a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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