omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
