she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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