Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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