First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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