Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
