hotel room ftw
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Randomize
